


But Daddy, I l9ve him

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Culling, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Ficlet, M/M, One Shot, Short, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-26
Updated: 2017-07-26
Packaged: 2018-12-07 08:48:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11620089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: What's an alien suburban helicopter dad to do when his son shacks up with an absolutely /terrible/ influence?





	But Daddy, I l9ve him

**Author's Note:**

> will i ever write anything over 500 words? no

You've always considered yourself a good culler.

You've read all the books, attended every peer group and seminar offered by the Imperial Culling Bureau, even scrolled through obscure forums well into the wee hours of the evening. You'd assumed you were prepared for anything your poor, helpless new charge could throw at you.

And you'd done a pretty good job for six sweeps. A bump here and there, especially as his pupation inched closer and some of those damned hormonal personality changes reared their ugly head, but over all, not half-bad. But as Kankri stands in front of you with his hand clasped around the stubby one of a seadweller boy you've never seen before, you're forced to consider the possibility that perhaps you weren't prepared at all.

"Trolldad, I'd like you to meet my new matesprit," he begins, his face as apathetic as ever but a hint of self-satisfaction in his voice, " and I'm afraid I will not be taking your opinion on our relationship into account. His name is Cronus, and he has never done anything remotely helpful for a lowblood in his life. We frequently engage in non-platonic physical contact, often in public places."

The seadweller coughs something that sounds oddly like "I wish", and Kankri jabs him in the side without breaking eye contact with you.

It's going to be a very, _very_ long night.


End file.
